Being Here – Day 15
Being Here – Poem Day 15
Over the last three days, When closeness feels like too much has been approached from three different angles.
Day 13 stayed with the body —
allowing distance to be safe, without asking for change.
Day 14 offered language —
meeting the meaning we often place on withdrawal, and softening self-judgement.
Today’s poem steps back further.
When closeness feels like too much — Noticing
places this experience in a wider context.
It looks at how closeness is shaped by pace, expectation, history, and environment —
by how much space modern life allows,
and by the conditions relationships are lived within.
Distance is not framed as a problem to fix,
nor as a virtue to adopt.
It is simply recognised as one of the ways people stay in relationship
without losing themselves.
There is nothing here to practise or resolve.
This poem doesn’t turn inward.
It widens the frame —
so the experience can rest where it belongs.
Gently read it and let it land. (link to adio version below)
Warmly,
Per
Poem – When closeness feels like too much – Noticing
Closeness does not happen in a vacuum.
It is shaped by pace, expectation, history,
and by how much space is available in a given moment.
Many environments reward openness, sharing, and responsiveness.
Availability is often taken as a sign of care.
Distance, by contrast, can be misunderstood.
In such settings, stepping back may feel like deviation —
even when it is the most stable response available.
Not everyone has equal capacity for closeness at all times.
Energy fluctuates.
Demands accumulate.
Boundaries shift as circumstances change.
Some people learn early that maintaining space
is the safest way to stay present at all.
Others discover it later,
after closeness has repeatedly arrived as overwhelm.
Seen this way, withdrawal is not absence.
It is a way of managing contact within the limits of what feels tolerable.
Modern life often compresses space.
Homes are shared.
Communication is constant.
Privacy is negotiated rather than assumed.
In that context, needing distance is not unusual.
It reflects the conditions relationships are lived within,
not a failure of connection.
Noticing this doesn’t explain away the experience.
It doesn’t turn distance into a virtue.
It simply places it where it belongs —
as one of the many ways people stay in relationship
without losing themselves.
