Dear Friends,
The theme for Session 6 is Responding Skilfully – Thoughts are not facts.

A mindfulness student asks the wise old Master: “What is the goal of a lifetime of practice?” the answer come back: “An appropriate response”.

We free ourselves from the reactive doing mode when we clearly see negative moods as passing states of mind, and negative thinking as the product of those mind states, and when we learn to hold all of these within a steady, compassionate awareness.

It can be enormously liberating to realise that our thoughts are just thoughts (even the ones that say they are not), and to recognise the contexts in which they are born. We saw in class that if we are in a happy mood we have different thoughts from when we are in a low mood – even if all the circumstances are exactly the same! This supports us to see situations more clearly, less clouded by distorting thoughts and beliefs. Clearer seeing increases the chances of working out what might be skilful, wise, appropriate responses.

We note that some thoughts are so deeply rooted that it can be near impossible not to be caught up in them or fully believe them. This makes is important to have a strong view on the thoughts that supports the notion of “The feeling I have in the body is ok, it is fine to react like this and to feel like this, should that thought ever come true”. If I still find it difficult to let go, I use the notion of something greater than me. This can be your breath, the air, the energy, the universe, any God that supports your spirituality, etc. what you use is less important, what I find useful is to get the feeling of surrender to this something greater than me, totally trusting and letting go of all tension and bracing, then allowing myself to feel the sensations and see the thought as just a thought. This is very individual so see what works for you.

To help with developing these skills, the home practise this week includes a couple of written exercises:
– The first of these: Your own Top Ten asks you think about those familiar, negative thought patterns that recur again and again, so we can learn to see them for what they are, and reduce their capacity to ‘press our buttons’.

– The second exercise Responding Skilfully helps you work out how you might respond skilfully when difficult patterns emerge.

– You are also invited to select a variety of different formal practices to make up your 40 minutes practise each day
Included are two practices recorded from a lesson 6, if you like to use them as well
– .. and to continue to use the Breathing Space for regular and responsive situations, using the compassionate questions to ask ourselves

– What would be a Wise and Helpful response?
– What would support my wellbeing?
– What would support the wellbeing of others?
– We can also use the breathing space to allow ourselves to more fully savour pleasant experiences.

Some of you have commented on the positive “making memories” by squeezing fingers during Gratitude practice. You might find this short Ted Talk provides some insights – I really like this.:
“Hardwiring happiness: Dr. Rick Hanson at TEDxMarin 2013

I have also found a short turning towards the pleasant practice I have recorded earlier that might be of use as well

A Gentle Place

. -by Per Norrgren

Sit here, my friend, where the breeze softens the day,
Where the leaves hold the light like whispers,
And the air smells of earth turning quietly,
Alive with the hum of all that is tender.

Look at the lines in your hands,
The story they tell of giving, of holding, of letting go.
Feel the steady beat within your chest,
A rhythm that asks for nothing but this moment.

The world will press its weight upon you,
But here, we learn to loosen our grip,
To see a thought as a passing bird
And not the sky itself.

If sorrow visits, let it sit by your side.
Give it tea, a kind word, a place to rest.
It will leave when it is ready.
Joy, too, will come like a soft gift,
Unwrapped in the small, unnoticed hours.

Breathe.
Let the simple become profound.
The light on the table.
The sound of your steps.
The grace of knowing you are enough—
Just as you are,
In this tender and fleeting now.